A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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View Terms of Service

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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