How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

Black people are innocent.

What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

A boy with red hair is happy.

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

why did the chicken cross the road

A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...