What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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VITAMIN C!

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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