What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

45.

why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

Roses are red Violets are blue

Poop.

What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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