Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A fish swims up your penis...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Haikus are easy But they don't always make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do porn stars do after they retire? No clue but some idiot made a movie about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

thumb_up thumb_down +2

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops