Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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V I T A M I N C !

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How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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SHUT UP JP

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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