i killed my family

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

What did Reed read? A. Read?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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