Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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Why do woman cook dinner? Because their husband has 6 jobs and is trying to support his family so she does a part and cooks dinner.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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