What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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YOLO

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Libraries.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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11111

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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knock knock. no one's home..

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops