why was the toddler sad? he was diagnosed with cancer after his dog was put down because it raped and murdered his parents

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there was a black man his head looked like a peanut

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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Ebola

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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