How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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