What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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What happens if you Put a Mental Patient in a cage He goes crazy, Develops schizophrenia and Eventually dies of Many Incurable Diseases

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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What do a black man and a cop have in common? They are both not cabbages.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What has eyes but cannot see? A blind man.

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Still the Holocaust

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis

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Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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