Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats 7+4? 74

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops