Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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Q: why did the boy fall down when he was walking home? A: he was murdered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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fi uoy nac daer siht sdrawkcab uoy tsuj daer siht sdrawkcab

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Half life 3 confirmed

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boner

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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I wrote a funny joke.

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Sex education in Texas.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops