What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Person: kk Person1: did you just kk me? Person: no

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Why did the boys shout ZACHATTACK? Because zach was attacking

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops