what did the old lady die of old age...

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Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? Still a pilot.

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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How do you make a black man sad? Kill his entire family.

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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