George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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A man and his horse walk into a bar, he is told to leave because animals are not allowed on the property

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Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

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Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

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Yo momma so fat she decided to have lipo suction

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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