Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dying unloved.

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

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Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

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Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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