"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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I'd like to make a withdraw

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer was depressed about the low business and farmer's economy, so he poured gasoline all over himself and lit a match. The barn burned down and the chicken was the only survivor.

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A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

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Obama walks into a hospital....

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How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

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Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops