What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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what did the women with no arms and legs say to her daughter? go to your room.

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men, went and made an omelette.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops