Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Yes, it's actually very nice.

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don't read this

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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What did the P.E. coach say to the fat kid? you need to exercise

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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