-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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A bar walks into a man

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Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

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A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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