how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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What's worse than losing a basketball game by 1 point? Dying of lukemia.

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Bacon is delcious.

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yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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Wat do u call black circus clwon a bad comedian

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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Why did Tim sit on the chair? Because potato.

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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