Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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A black guy walks into a bar. Suddenly, the bar goes quite, the music turns off and everybody stares. It was a gay bar and the man was very good looking.

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so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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