Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

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roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Justin's humor

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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The WNBA

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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