A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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Chuck Norris.

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

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What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

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What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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DEATH.

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Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

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So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

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Getting up for a black person on a buss

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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