Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

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Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

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- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

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What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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How many fingers do most people have? 10

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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What's the funniest thing about the holocaust? Nothing it wasn't a joke

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Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

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Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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