copy me and i will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do mexicans enjoy eating? food.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops