What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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Vagina cream... end of story

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the 6 year old girl go to therapy? Because her step dad raped her.

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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I'm Batman.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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My friend harris is fat.

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

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why did the Chinese man fail the driving test because he had no previous driving experience and wasn't prepared for the test

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

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Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

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Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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