i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man say to the other man? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the elephant ride a bike? Because he had no thumbs...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +13

2 + 2 = 4

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When the tsunami hit in 2004, christians worldwide prayed for the victims. it didnt help

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the gay guys house Knock knock Who is there The chicken!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A: Knock Knock B: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Protoss player say when he lost to a Terran player? I concede defeat. You simply have a greater mastery over the game than I.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the biscuit say when he saw his friend get run over? Oh my god. Dave, are you ok? Somebody call an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops