What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

thumb_up thumb_down +20

kkkk

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

thumb_up thumb_down +20

rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why are black people good at basketball cuz their tall

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops