Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

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The seven dwarves sat around the house feeling Grumpy, so Grumpy left.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? the NBA

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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How do you make a car? You build it.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Noideer! No.Blind What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still Noideer! No, it's basically dead

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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