There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +22

My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

TIMMAH!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

thumb_up thumb_down +22

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops