How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks.

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

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A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

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What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

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your girlfriend is so dumb she is clinically retareded

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

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Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

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I agree

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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Why couldn't Paul see. He got stabbed in the eye by two mexicans

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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