How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

thumb_up thumb_down -16

yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There was a jew, a german and you Despite you were there, the holocaust was You should feel guilty

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I <3 Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops