holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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Did you hear about the german girl who had sex and died................. it was 50 years later after she had a family of about five kids and lived a happy life as a nurse

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Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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guhhjghkjghjgkwefyuwefgehdfbfryfgwdfhdbfadhfbewifoyqgefhqjdbsjdkdfbnqerwifuqbdjsa wuefgeyfgdshkjjhgfiuyegfdhfbdksabnfehwbfeiofqwrypweqiryewpiryewufhdjfbxncmsbahewf bdcuhbwewhuxnyfurgbcyuiwfbewcyiubnyfeurieixybnqweircbnewociuxnbweu crbweyuicyxbreuwxcybewuoiqbyxeowucybnqweucbnowieywicybrqweiubncyqoweubnrcyuowiebno

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Charlotte Bobcats

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Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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