Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

the love boat

What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

Knock knock Get off my porch.

I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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