There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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Yo momma so fat, she has hypertension, diabetes, and a higher risk of heart disease.

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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Black Friday

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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Roses are violets red is blue i like lizards they have fur

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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so a jew walks into a bar and leaves at 9:00 becuase he has work in the morning.

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Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

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roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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What's black can run really fast and jump really high? A panther

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Your mums a penis joke.

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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whats purple, extinct, and smells like children? barney

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A man... walks.

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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