Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

69

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops