What's worse than a snake in your boot. A boot in your snake.

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A man is flailing his arms in the ocean. Help me, I'm drowning!, he screams. Some dude runs into the water, drags the man out, and is proclaimed a Hero.

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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Three men walk into a bar. Start drinking, fight each other and sustain massive head injuries.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

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person 1:Dude, look at the news person 2:Yea man, its D ick Cheney person 1: what a d ick head

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What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

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what do you call a black man being hung from a tree? -prejudice

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yo mama is fat shes fat

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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A man hits a woman while driving. Whose fault is it? The mas. He was out drinking that night and shouldn't have gotten in his car in the first place.

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What did the cat say to the elephant? Meow.

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what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

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"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

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Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 witnessed while hiding in a closit 7 rape and kill his mother.

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*prepares this to get negged*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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