What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear about the man with 3 balls? He liked tennis

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black priest who's name is John? Father John

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand: QUACK!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

This is an anti joke. Please make it the bestest and most well likeded one on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the shark do when he died.....

thumb_up thumb_down -21

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A 21 year old man walks into a bar with a vase of 12 roses. 57 years later he died after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Soccer...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. Why did the boy get so fat? A. From playing Pokemon Pearl Edition

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what is an antijoke? a type of comedy in which the joke ends in an antivlimax that it is funny in its own right GDS*

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops