Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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Knock knock Whoes there? ...

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uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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Hi

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2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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What do Gay horses eat? Cheese.

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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What did the unicorn say when he was kicked out of the grocery store? Nothing, dodo birds dont exist

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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An asian, black man and a white guy are stranded in a desert with no food and no water, so what do they do Die

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Roses are yellow Violets are yellow bark bark

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what is worse then going to school farlingaye

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple?

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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Bob: "Knock knock." Gerald: "who's there?" Bob: "your worst nightmare." Gerald: "your worst nightmare who?" Bob kicks open the door, kills Gerald, ties up his wife, sells his kids to slavery, and burns his house down.

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A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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