Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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What's gray and comes in buckets? An elephant

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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There is a black guy, British guy, and a Spanish guy in a room. Wait that'll never happen, black people hate Spanish people.

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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Guess what! what haha u listened to me

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Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

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Why where the 3 little children talking about muffins? Because muffins are smart.

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The BCS

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where wally? wallys a myth.

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What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

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I ponder

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Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

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poop

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What is worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

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Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 He raped him the other day

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops