What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

Three bars walk into a Jew.

Sophie Cameron is Gay

Women.

How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

wow such mark very mark many mark so mark

Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house. A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

do you know that joke? hmm no.. yaa life!

I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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