Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

Why did the man die? He got shot!

Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

what is worse tahn finding a worm in your apple? finding hitler in your house.

If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe My wife and kids would still be alive.

What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

Why did Billy fall of his bike HE HAD NO BIKE

Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

take out the f in way. there is no f in way. I see what you did there.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

religion.

How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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