How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

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Why was the women out of the kitchen? She felt the desire to relax after a day of work...

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

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What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

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Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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banana

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Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

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What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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Your mom.

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Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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