What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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Why did the girl jump of the control tower??? She didnt I lied.

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what has the same importance as mothers day? fathers day

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

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Have you heard the joke that they don't tell retarded people? You haven't? Well then alright let me tell you because it's actually quite amusing.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

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You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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I'm a brony. I'm a brony. I'm a brony. Screw this shit, I'm not a brony anymore. I'm a man. I'm a man. Screw this too. I'm dead, not in bed.

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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a person cries in the corner you go over to them and rape them

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My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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