If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What's the biggest difference between a black man and a white man? A: Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A fat guy eats a twinkie.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Pinus Testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops