Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch."

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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Knock Knock Who's there Nobody is here. This is just a feeble attempt of your subconsious to convince yourself you have someone who cares about you in the least bit to mask the horrible wretched pain of loneliness and suffering that is the enternal damnation of your life.

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What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding several worms in your apple.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Well I dont think that has happened to anyone ever so I guess nothings worse.

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Shut the cork up!

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why did the white man jump out of the car? because the car was crashing

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What's big and fat? An obese man.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

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69

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What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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