"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. By darragh hamilton

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

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Iggy Azalea

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What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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We have a 24hr fitness center...it is open from 6 to 11

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A man walked into a bar 2 hours later he died from drinking and driving

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

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knock knock whos there Aids, now you've got it

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What do you call a shattered lightbulb? A hazard that should be taken very seriously.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your friend Jim Oh hello Jim, please come in it is very nice to see you this fine evening.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh? Mooooooohahahahaha

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Your Momma's So fat, that she is quite unhealthy, and she should stop spending her life savings at fast food restaurants. Probably should stop drinking pop as well.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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What did the little girl say to her step father? Please stop raping me

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Why can't the cheetah run fast anymore? Because it died in a forest fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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